After we adopted Kabree in
April of 2009 we felt like life was pretty great! We were finally parents and it was even
better then we could have imagined. We had
a firm testimony of the miracle of adoption and the joy it can bring. We realized that it was worth all of the
heart ache, work and tears along the way for the end results. We also gained a testimony of God’s timing
and that God knows which baby is meant to be part of your family. We also gained a deep appreciation for
bithmom’s and their selflessness allowing couples like us to be a family.
In January of 2010 we
started asking our agency when we could put in our papers again. Kabree brought us so much joy but we still
felt like our family should grow. In
April of 2010 a new adoption caseworker Chad came to our agency and said we
could get going quickly on our paperwork.
We were able to once again cruise through the paper work, interviews and
background checks. Our friends were
great to get their reference letters done and turned in, in record time. We officially started the process the first
week of May and officially got approved and on the website the last week of
May. We felt great about starting
another adoption journey.
Well as many people know the
adoption journey can be a long, trying one.
We had a few bumps in the road and several disappointments along the
way. We are so blessed to have so many
amazing friends and family members who were constantly keeping us in mind and
sharing our information with potential birth-families. We appreciate it more than anything in the
world and wouldn’t ask for anything else.
However, the hard part about that is no matter how many times you tell
yourself “don’t get excited, this will not work out” you still hope and dream
it will work out and no matter how many times it happens you still feel sad and
disappointed when it doesn’t.
The first year of waiting
was disappointing but by the time the second year was coming to an end we
stated considering taking our name off the list. I had hit my breaking point and decided that
the disappointment of not having another child wouldn’t be as hard if I could
blame it on not having our names on the list instead of no one picking us. About the time I was feeling this our
caseworker Chad was over at our house for an Families Supporting Adoption
meeting in February and mentioned to the group that there was a birthmom that he
was pretty confident was going to place with a couple in our agency. My heart got excited and my brain said it’s
going to be us. But as I told Zach the
little experience I realized how crazy I sounded and told myself I was
crazy. As March came around I realized
that no she was not picking us and I was losing my mind. Once again feeling that disappointment and frustration
for letting myself think it could be us.
I prayed all the time that
if we were supposed to have another baby in our lives please send it before May
(when our paper work was up). Even
Kabree started praying “please give me a baby brother or baby sister”. Ironically I prayed if I should go back to
school or not. I felt good about it and
moved forward in that direction. I enrolled
in summer school and the fall semester to finish my accounting degree. I had gotten all of my classes lined out,
talked to the head of the department, arranged babysitters for Kabree. I decided I needed to push forward and was
actually getting pretty excited about going back to school. But as I have learned 3 distinct times in my
life when I finally choose to show God I can be happy with what he has given me
and not dwell on what he hasn’t he blesses me.
On the morning of March 12th
Chad called us and asked if we could speak on speaker phone. So Zach and I asked our niece Whitney (who
lived with us) to watch the kids and we went into our bedroom and shut the
door. Chad proceeded to tell us about a
potential adoption situation. He
explained that the birthmom Heather came to him in February and was due in a
few weeks, she had just told the birthdad Jesse in February so he was still a
little shell shocked. He explained that
the birthdad was Hispanic and the birthmom was Caucasian, there was no prenatal
care until February so they weren’t able to see what the sex of the baby
was. Me being the person I am asked for
the odds in numbers so Chad told us that he was 98% sure they would go through
with the adoption, it was just if they picked us or not. Their situation was unique because they had
actually liked one couple but they were on hold then they liked another couple
and actually met them face to face the previous Friday and had officially
choose that couple. However, that couple
called Chad on Monday and said that they could not do adoption right now due to
personal circumstances. So, we were the
next couple, Chad wanted us to be sure before we met them face to face that we
were on board so that they didn’t have to go through that again especially
where Heather was so close to due date.
Chad gave us an hour to
decide if we wanted to move forward. Zach
and I called our doctor and discussed the possible health issues with the
situation and then discussed amongst ourselves how we were feeling and what we
should do. We called Chad back and told
him we were on board.
We met Heather and Jesse on
Wednesday March 14th for our face to face visit with them. Zach and I were both very nervous going into
it but Chad was great getting us started.
Jesse and Heather are very honest, down to Earth people. They told us all about their interests and
kids. They have been together 6 ½ years
and were just not in a place to start over with a new baby. Heather has a six year old girl and Jesse has
3 boys and 1 girl. The face to face went
great and conversation went well. We
discovered that Heather and Zach went to high school together and Jesse works
with one of our neighbors.
That night Heather sent us
an e-mail telling us that she and Jesse wanted to officially choose us. Over the next few weeks Heather and I
e-mailed about every day. Heather was
very generous and invited me to her weekly checkups. On the very first checkup Heather had an
ultrasound were right off the bat the tech said “it’s a girl”, she didn’t
realize we didn’t know :). It was pretty
neat to be there, see our soon to be baby and to find out it’s a girl!
Every week was an anxious
wait because Heather actually felt like she would be going very soon after our
face to face, she had dropped and started to dilate. But the baby and doctor had other plans. On Wednesday April 11 I went with Heather to
her Doctors appointment during the appointment he told Heather to go home get
things situated and get back to the hospital to get induced. So Heather decided she could probably get
everything ready by 1pm so we both went our ways to hurry and get back to the
hospital. Lucky for Zach and I Whitney,
Heather (my sister) and Jessica were all willing and able to take care of
Kabree. Zach and I met back up with
Heather (birthmom) at the hospital.
At 3pm the doctor did
Cytotec, then every four hours they would do another pill of Cytotec. Jesse, Zach and I all stayed in the room with
Heather. At midnight there was still no
change and Heather was only dilated to a 2, so Jesse headed home for some rest
and Zach and I slept in our car in the parking lot. At 4 am they decided to start Heather on
Pitocin, they increased the amount every ½ hour. Heather’s contractions got harder but she
still didn’t dilate. We got to know each
other pretty good over the 24 hours and got to meet several of their
friends. All of their friends were
great! They were all super nice to us
and very supportive of Heather, I was so impressed with all of them and how
accepted they made us feel.
At 3:14 p.m. Thursday April
12th Keagan was born. Heather
asked me to stay with her during the delivery and Jesse and Zach stepped right
outside. It was the most incredible
experience ever, I felt bad for Heather having to go through the pain and
exhaustion but it was amazing to see Keagan come into this world. It was such a spiritual, touching
experience. I was so embarrassed because
I don’t usually get emotional in front of people but I truly did cry happy
tears. They even let me cut the cord
(not at all what I had pictured)! Again
words could never describe how it felt to experience that as an adoptive
Mother.
Keagan was born on Thursday
afternoon and placement was Saturday morning.
We were able to visit the hospital lots and were actually given our own
room for when we were there. Heather was
great about letting us visit and even letting Kabree come up and met Keagan as
well as both of our parents. We were so appreciative
of her allowing us to bring them during her time with Keagan.
Placement as always was an
emotional, experience it’s the moment that the birthparents officially hand
over the baby to us. For us it is an incredible
exciting moment but yet we have built this loving relationship with Heather and
Jesse and this is the moment that breaks their hearts. It’s a very bitter sweet experience.
We have chosen to once again
have an open adoption, we have since Keagan’s placement met Jesse and Heather
face to face twice. We are so
appreciative to Jesse and Heather and the incredible sacrifice they made. Keagan has brought us so much joy and we
couldn’t love her any more if we tried. Once
again our lives have been blessed by adoption and our testimonies are even
stronger. We have so much love and
gratitude toward both of our daughters birthparents and the heart breaking sacrifices
they have went through to give us the greatest blessings in the world. Once again our hearts are full and for now we
feel like our family is just as it should be with our two beautiful little
girls that bring us more joy then we ever thought possible.
