Wild Adventure Corn Maze

  The girls had a Friday off of school so Zach took work off and we took advantage of our ICCU tickets to the Wild Adventure Corn Maze.  We were pretty much the only ones there which was kind of nice.  The wind was pretty brutal except for in the mazes so the girls did a quick run through of all the other activities. Because we went during the day the food trucks weren't open so we were a bit bummed but we still had fun and you can't beat getting to go for free so we didn't complain to much ;).

Friends

   Keagan and the other third grade girls read a book called Kiki.  Well in this book the girls start a club where the friends do all kinds of fun things.  So of coarse Hadli, Kelsee an Keagan decide they too must start a similar club ;).  Well they had their first "meeting" for their little club and decided to decorate cookies.  They said 3 hours was no where near long enough for a get together and next time they needed 6-8 hours.

  I made a huge batch of sugar cookies so I froze half the batch and on Sunday the girls asked the William's if we could come see their puppies we took some sugar cookies and frosting to their house for another round of cookie decorating. 

A Hunting We Will Go

   Opening day of Deer Season was filled with lots of excitement as always.  Matt, Heather and Justice brought their camper out Friday and Cayleb, Jordan and Luke brought their camper out Friday as well and stayed.  Justice, Kabree and Wyatt were excited about hunting but I think they were all just excited to be out with their Dad's and to have their cousins around to hang out!  Saturday everyone went out their own separate ways for hunting and Kabree was able to get a 2 point while hunting with Zach and Grandpa Vance.  Justice was able to get his first deer ever while out with Matt, Cayleb and Jordan!  No one else had any luck opening day but everyone was still in great spirits just getting to be outdoors.  We all ate lunch together and the kids enjoyed spending the rest of the day/evening playing.  Keagan got to babysit Luke and was so excited and happy Jordan asked her to!  He kept her on her toes but she did a great job! By the end of the day they were both exhausted and ready for bed lol!

Fun Run

   Arbon Elementary held held their annual Fun Run the girls were excited to participate as always.  Kabree did the 10K with Zach and Keagan did the 5K with Hadli and Katelyn Evans (partially with me lol, she took off without me and a little Kindergartner asked me to hold her hand and run with her so I went to the 2K with the Kindergartner and left her with a teacher and caught up to Keagan on her way back from the 5K turn around lol).  Both girls did great and had fun!

Sewing Fun

   Keagan wanted a sewing project and decided she wanted to make Cami Larsens new baby a blanket.  So we went to the fabric store and Keagan picked out some fabric. Then Keagan enlisted aunt Sissy for some help.  Heather was a great sport and helped Keagan sew the blanket and let Kiki use her amazing sewing machine!  Keagan did such a good job and we are so grateful to Heather for her help!  Keagan has decided she might just be making blankets for all new Arbon babies now ;).  She wrote the sweetest poem to go with the blanket (I wish I would have taken a picture of it), we are so proud of our sweet little Kiki and her always thinking of others!

Letting Go

   To the rest of the world these look like a crappy old pair of flip flops.  Truth be told they are to the naked eye.  But to my soul they are so much more.  I only wear them camping, boating or in the yard, I would never wear them in public.  So why when they fell apart a few weekends ago did I not toss them, why did I carefully set them in the porch climb into bed and cry myself to sleep over an old pair of flip flops?  These are my Lyndell flip slops.  We bought these 13 years ago.  The chemo and radiation made her hands and feet hurt and they were the only flip flops that didn't hurt her feet.  She bought them in every color they had.  I got myself a pair.  These flip flops are memories of her last summer.  Memories of her in her garden, her flower bed, sitting on her front steps watching Shay and Ethan jumping on the trampoline.  When conversations got deep (which that summer they all did, Shawnta had just passed and we knew our time with Lyndell had already surpassed the time doctors had given her), when topics got deep and tears were on the verge I would look down, I would look at her feet, her tan feet with perfectly painted toes and her flip flops.  I would stare at her feet as I tried to blink away the tears as we talked about how life wasn't fair, how she wished to make it to Eric's high school graduation.  We would laugh and joke and I would look down at her feet when she would laugh too hard and start choking and coughing.  Another reminder that each time I prayed for God to let her stay longer it was such a selfish desire on my part.  The summer after she passed Shawn gave me this pair of her flip flops.  My pair long gone in the trash but this pair that once was on her feet, this pair I stared at so many times that summer are still in my closet.

  For those who know, grief is a huge part of my life and I have for the most part (I feel) dealt with it pretty well.  But there are a few things, every so often a moment I catch myself not ready to let go of silly things like crappy 13 year old flip flops.  Sometimes I look down and remember her feet in them and that last summer.  The reminder that life isn't fair and life is short and that her only wish was for her kids to know her.  Sometimes I look down as I sit in the porch swing while my girls jump on the trampoline and I think don't take for granted the little moments, the little things.  

  That night I cried myself to sleep aching for just how much 13 years later I still miss her, I still miss Shawnta, I still miss all of them!  Their laughs, our conversations, our innocence before not knowing how hard and unfair life can be. All because of a silly pair of old flip flops.  

  When I woke up the next morning to throw them away I realized Zach had went to great lengths to repair these flip flops.  While I was in bed feeling sorry for myself and letting 17 years of grief consume me for a few hours, he was in the garage gluing, forming and binding the poor shredded flip flops back together.

  Because he knew I wasn't ready, I wasn't ready to let go of them just yet.  I'm so grateful for a husband that realizes that sometimes it doesn't matter how much time has passed, sometimes your heart still hurts. What might seem silly to the rest of the world and make some people roll their eyes, Zach realized meant something more to me.  So to anyone else 1 month, 1 year, or like me 13 years later still having moments of not being ready to let go of things...you are not alone, it's ok. Because for me most days looking down at those old flip flops, seeing them in the porch makes me smile and remember to never take a single person or day for granted.

Bullseye

  Zach was so excited he found a great deal on a womans bow.  Kabree was super eager to help Zach get it all toned in and tried out.